The Mind's Eye: I Wish

About Me

Location: North Carolina, United States

I am an aspiring writer out of NC. I started writing at the age of 14 with simple poems and stories. Which finally turned into a full fledged novel. I have 2 in the works. I enjoy "attempting" to play the guitar.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

I Wish

his is basically a part II to Escape Into Me...

I wish...I could go...into myself
be alone with myself and just...exist
I wanna escape into a world un known and...
know what it's like to be completely at peace and...
listen to jazz and sip hot chocolate...
najee or boney playing the melodies of my soul...
Be on the inside looking out at the ways of the world and..
shake my head at the sadness which surrounds me...the hatred which
defines so many

I wish...I could go..into myself and...
figure out who I am and why I am the way I am and...
just...know...me
Let the tranquility on the inside of me take over me and...
break free from the shackles on the outside of me

I wish...I could go...into myself and...
become true to myself...again and..
search for what I want and hunt for what I need and...
find it.

I wish...I could go...into myself and...
turn myself inside out and let the real me show...
let the true me shine...let the world judge the inside of me
the most pure side of me...
let them know the artistic Yaddi...the softest side of Yaddi
Let them see the Yaddi that cries at cartoons and...yearns for that affection
that only one can give.
That Yaddi that strives to be the best at it all and...I just wish...
I could go...into myself

2 Comments:

Anonymous said...: Tomorrow, when you have a free moment, take a walk through your local grocery store or Wal-Mart. It doesn’t really matter what time you go, or which destination you ultimately choose. While you are there, search out an elderly female or male, anyone over 65 or 70 years of age. Walk up to this person, smile, and give them a compliment. It doesn’t matter what the compliment actually is; just compliment him or her. If he has on an interesting pair of shoes, tell him how nice they look on him. If she happens to be wearing a very colorful scarf, let he know it how lovely it is. Watch elderly person very closely. Allow your eyes to follow every expression as it goes through several quick transformations. First confusion. He or she will be unsure if you are actually talking to them. Second, an expression akin to shock and surprise will appear. The idea that someone, a virtual stranger, noticed will rain down across his or her face with amazing clarity. She will drop her eyes to look at the scarf, as if to confirm that its actually there. And then, lastly, she will smile. It will be an authentic smile because she didn’t have time to prepare a response. It will be a smile that lights up her whole face—in a world that’s cold and lonely sometimes, someone noticed her and was kind. When this smile comes, tell your eyes to take a picture of it, to mentally record that expression and store it away in the back of your mind.

You are naturally a beautiful person filled with a carefree sense of joy and happiness. Help a stranger smile, so that you will always remember the simple things that make you smile as well. Find joy inside yourself by bringing it out in others.

The very next day, walk up to a random white male in a business suit. It doesn’t matter if it happens to be in Starbucks or Barnes and Noble, but it’s essential that he have on a suit and tie. He must be Caucasian and seemingly affluent. Ask him to tell you the name of the best book he ever read—a book that radically changed perspective on life. Buy the book he names and spend however many hours it takes to read it over the next couple days. Allow yourself to try and see in this book what the stranger saw, attempt to look at the world from a different perspective.

Sometimes our view of the world gets boring and routine. When we look at things from the same angle all the time, it becomes easy to forget how complex we are. You are a very talented, three-dimensional woman. No one idea or concept or belief defines you---you are far too complicated for that to be true. Allow yourself to step outside of yourself, through the eyes of a virtual stranger, so that you can better understand your own perspective. When you return to your own personal view of the world, when you come back and look at the internal you, it’s very possible that the person you see inside is now different that it was before. Sometimes, before we can go inside ourselves and see what’s really there, we have to step outside ourselves and look at everything from another point of view.

Travel to your nearest metropolitan city and safely seek out a street beggar in front of a very public place. Offer to give him or her five dollars if they tell you their story. What happened in their life to place them in their current financial position? Listen to the tale. Understand the tale. No matter how outrageous or exaggerated or obvious the lie may be, allow yourself to believe it. Life can be harsh. Let the story he or she tells you confirm this reality. And then record it in your mind. Let some part of your soul be challenged to remember how fortunate and blessed you are. No matter how depressed or lonely or emotionally empty you ever are, allow your heart to remember the old man or old woman balled up underneath a bridge somewhere, cold and hungry, with no where to go. And thank God for the blessings you have been given.

Take this lesson with you on your journey inside yourself—pack it in a bright red suitcase and never let it out of your sight. I have always admired your work and creativity, and this subtle touch of compassion will surely make your trip a fantastic one. I wish I had the ability to travel there alongside of you, as I am certain there are marvels inside of you that would make the eight wonders of the world stale by comparison. But this is a solo journey, a trip you must take alone. I’ve packed a sandwich for you, and a few other odds and ends. But if you remember to take the red suitcase with you, packed with the book from the white man, the picture of the old lady smiling, and the lesson of the homeless man, I am sure you will have all that you need to get where you are going.

But remember this: Don’t be surprised if the DJ isn’t playing jazz on the loudspeaker when you reopen the door to your soul. What if she’s playing Salsa music? What if hot chocolate is nowhere to be found? What if the mellowest drink on the menu is a Cosmopolitan? What if, at the end of this journey, you discover a Yaddi you never met before? You are familiar, if a bit secretive, about the Yaddi who “cries at cartoons,” but what happens if discover another Yaddi, a different Yaddi, standing before you, right hand stretched out to greet you, wanting to be introduced to the world? Can you handle that? I have faith that you can. This is why I responded.

Keep writing. You are my inspiration.; 1:29 AM
Me, Myself, and I said...: Um..I forgot what I was going to say about the poem after seeing another BLOG on your comments...be back later when I can focus...sorry; 10:23 PM