Escape Into Me

There are days when I wanna run away...escape into myself. My inner thoughts are my most pure and my most honest. The words that come from my mouth don't always depict what lies inside. The daily struggles with work, family, people, society starts to take it's toll after a while. I need a break...a hiatus. I have become a prisoner in my own outside world. I have adapted to the ways that is politically correct and I have in the end, become untrue to myself. I have lost the way to get back to me. Previous posts tell what I wanna do, what I wanna learn and/or understand. But none of them tell you how I have found the way to get back to me. When you wear a rubber glove and get done using it and remove it, it is usually inside out. The part that is closest to your hand is untouched. The outside carries all the grit and grime. I wanna be turned inside out. The inside of me is the cleanest and the most untouched. I just wanna escape into me. Disappear from the outside world if only for a minute. Just to taste what purity is, just to glimpse a safe place where my father isn't sick, a place where I can make 6 figures, a place where I can just...exist. I don't have to do anything if I choose not to. I can just be...me.

In a way I envy wanderers and vagabonds. They walk and wander aimlessly yet most of them are searching for ways to get back to themselves. The people they encounter, the places they visit all brings them closer to the real THEM. They have found their escape route. I wanna escape too. I wanna escape into me. If only for a minute...I wanna escape.